I've been writing songs as long as I can remember. From that first set of heart-broken lyrics at age 15 , when Donna Burns left me thinking I'd been dumped, which "left me blue…", to numerous pieces I  worked on just today. I'm always looking for that next essential moment in creativity!

There have been times that it has been a joyous journey of discovery. When blasting out snappy lyrics and sweet, funky guitar jams and riffs was like soaring at 20,000 feet while and being in total control of your own destiny! 

That was clearly how I felt when I wrote this post, so ecstatic to share this inspired, delighted moment: WRITING A NEW SONG IS LIKE FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!

I was clearly just so psyched, having so much fun. What's that saying … “over the moon”? 

But of course, there have also been plenty of times that I've written music because my heart has been clawed at, my soul has been crushed, and I just have to try and come to grips with whatever is breaking me down through this fundamental, healing process. In fact, I am working on recording two songs right now that sprang from those types of emotional experiences. One is a slow blues rocker called “Heal Me Now” that I wrote a couple months after 9/11 and the other is a solo acoustic guitar version of “Hurtin' Up My Heart”, a love-gone-wrong song I recorded in full band style on my 2014 EP Keeping the Dream Alive.*

So Am I the Only One Who Has Ever Experienced This?

No. Of course not. I know that's not the case, but wow, there are are times when it feels that way.

Don't get me wrong. I'm blessed with family and friends who genuinely care and provide feedback and support, which I am incredibly grateful for. 

But that will never equate to having people who do not know you or your work be moved by your work and show their appreciation (preferably in droves, lol)! Or, on another plateau, having professionals in the field recognize and appreciate your work, prefereably to the point of wanting to see it licensed, published, appreciated, and loved. 

But until that happens, there are many times I feel crushed. “Why am I doing this?” No one cares. No one hardly knows who I am. No one wants to listen to my music.  

How can this be such a goddamned emotional roller coaster? Is it all worth it? Am I ever going to get the recognition I am hoping for? 

I just want a little love and respect for sharing the essence of my being through this creative, soul-baring exercise. But of course, even without it, I don't know that I could stop. This is what I am. Not expressing myself musically would hurt more than trying and not having that recognition I would so appreciate, outside of my family and friends, God bless them.

So, how about you? Have been through anything like this in your musical journey? Commiserate with us and tell us a bit about your story in the comments below!

*(I wish I could provide a link to the EP, but it was originally published via CD Baby and I pulled it back from them a year or so ago when I realized that they owned the “publisher's”  50% share of sales - I'll be distributing some of these songs to popular platforms like iTunes via Distrokid soon).